Dreaming

I had a dream about Robbie last night. He was in perfect health. No more cancer or titanium leg. He was back to his normal weight and full head of hair. He looked happy and free of pain. I told him that there were still so many things I wanted to tell him.

Walking for Childhood Cancer 3/17/19

Robbie March 2018

Robbie laughing when his friend found his port

Walking on Galveston Beach

Jim and I walked for childhood cancer on Sunday on Galveston beach. Robbie walked with us last year. We missed having him with us. We walked with friends that walk each year on their child’s birthday to raise awareness for childhood cancer.

It was good to talk with another family that shares our pain and sadness. I had someone ask me today if I am feeling better, since it has been a month. I don’t even know how to answer someone when they ask something so crazy.

Missing Robbie

Jim and I took off for a couple days from Houston. Of course we had to stop at a zoo. Going to the zoo and taking pictures was one of Robbie’s favorite things to do. I was finally able to sleep while we were gone. I have been waking up at least every hour for the past month and getting very little sleep.

Now that we are back, it continues to be difficult to be in our house without Robbie. I know we shouldn’t make any rash moves, so for now we will stay put, but I see a day when we leave this house even if we stay in Houston. We built our house with Robbie in mind to make it handicapped accessible, which is almost impossible to find on the market. His bedroom is near our front door…all to make it easier for him, but now we must pass it every time we come and go from our home. I changed some of the pictures and the room arrangement. I got rid of many items that we didn’t need to keep, but I think even if it were empty….it is still his room. A place he loved to hang out especially the last couple months when he was feeling so sick. He was near us and could hear us, yet was comfortable on his own bed.

I keep reminding myself that he isn’t in pain and we had 25 great years together. I didn’t intend to keep blogging, but for now I will post occasionally and when it is right, I will stop and delete the blog. ❤

 

1 month 3/12/19

It is hard to believe it has been a month without our sweet boy. I miss him so much. Everywhere I go I am reminded of him.

Tomorrow Jim and I are escaping the house for a couple days. Normally Robbie and I would be plotting how to survive a family trip. Ha

Thank you to everyone for all the cards and messages the past month. We are very grateful.

March 9, 2019

One year ago, Robbie and I went hiking at a park in Houston. Robbie enjoyed outdoor photography. We loved spending time together.

I am thankful he isn’t suffering, but going through life without him is heartbreaking. ❤

I think about him every minute of the day.

His sloth army is slowly being sent to friends and family.