I cleaned Robbie’s room today. Dusted around the sloths. Hugged a few sloths. Looked at Robbie’s pictures.

I’m trying hard to be at peace that he is safely in heaven. I think mothers should be able to visit heaven and check on our children. ❤

Keep Swimming

I am finding it harder as the days go by. Missing our sweet boy! Dragging myself to teach each day is so difficult. It takes so much energy to pretend to be fine. I am quick to anger over minor things. When someone makes an unexpected request, I wonder how they can’t see that I am already drowning.

Then I think of a friend from Oklahoma and how we used to joke that we have to “keep swimming” when things get crazy. I want to go back to those days with my friends that I trust, a job I enjoyed, and my sweet son.

It sounds like I don’t like my current job, which isn’t true. It is challenging to be at a new school, new state, new rules, and most of the teachers are the age of my girls…even if this had been a normal year. With the sadness of the year, it is overwhelming.

Keep Swimming!

Song for Robbie

Robbie’s music fraternity at the University of Tulsa sang a song for Robbie at their concert last night. They talked about Robbie and how much they missed him before singing this song. I wish I could have attended. The girls were able to attend and filmed the song for me. Robbie loved music. ❤

The Flu has hit our House

Thinking of Robbie. I’ve had the flu the last couple days and it makes me think of all the times that Robbie had chemo and nausea and never complained. I am on day two of the flu and I am ready for someone to shoot me and put me out of my misery.

In the picture, Robbie found a sloth backpack at the bookstore and it made us smile.

Shadow Boxes for Robbie

I’ve started working on a couple shadow boxes for Robbie. A smaller one with his baptism outfit and a larger one with his zoo shirt. I am still trying to decide what to put in the boxes and the best way to mount the pictures. I am thinking of making baby shadow boxes for our girls too.

I am very restless and find it hard to sleep. I miss him so much.

Aquarium Pictures

Last March I took Ruth and Robbie to the Houston Aquarium and restaurant. He had a lot of fun photographing the fish and then having lunch by the huge fish tanks. He was doing so well and we had so much hope for the treatments.

This is my great niece in Mexico with one of Robbie’s sloths.