Off the Grid

Boat tour on the bayside of Door County Wisconsin

Fish Boil

Jim and I went off the grid for a few days in Wisconsin. We are staying in a very peaceful location surrounded by woods and a lake.

When I visit Wisconsin in the summer, I want to move back. The winter is a different story.

Robbie always loved coming here.

Robbie in Door County when he was young.

Forever 25

It is Robbie’s Birthday today. We are spending the day with family. I knew this would be a difficult weekend.

Much laughter and tears as we share stories with each other.

We went back to his grave before leaving Platteville today.

Flying Robbie Home

We are at the airport getting ready to fly Robbie to WI, so he can be laid to rest by his grandparents.

TSA opened our carryon and pulled out Robbie’s box. Then they used special paper and spray to test for traces of explosives. Robbie would have thought it was funny.

Tears.

Happy Father’s Day!

Jim and Robbie

Happy Father’s Day!

The first picture is of Jim and Robbie.

The second picture is my family. My dad is holding me. He passed away from cancer in 2003. He was a very kind man.

Robbie and my dad are together again in heaven. Miss them both so much. ❤

Waiting for a Sign

Someone posted this online and I smiled because I prayed last night that God would give me a sign that Robbie is okay and safely in heaven. I’m struggling with the fact that after all he went through, he was questioning his faith and questioning that God would make him suffer so much and not take away his pain and cancer. He felt like he prayed and prayed and only continued to get sicker. Two hospital chaplains prayed with him the day before we lost him and came to his room after he was gone. I didn’t say anything, but she said…don’t worry…he is covered in prayer. <3.

Robbie & Lynn Fall 2016

Day in Houston at the Zoo and MD Anderson

Curly with one of Robbie’s shirts that he sleeps with

Curly looking at Robbie’s book

A page from the book that we gave to the zoo keepers

Jim & I with Curly. We smiled because he moved to be close to us

Jim in the zoo bird house

Jim and I visited the zoo to give a book of Robbie & Curly to the zoo keepers. They had Curly all set up for us. They said they have never seen Curly so attached to anyone like he was to Robbie. Curly has a few of Robbie’s sloth shirts to sleep with. We are so grateful to the zoo and everything they did for Robbie. Then we walked around to some of Robbie’s favorite places in the zoo on days he was well enough to go beyond seeing Curly. The gift store had new adorable sloths that Robbie would have loved. I had to use self control not to buy them. Missing Robbie ❤

Next we went to MD Anderson for Jim’s appointments. The medical office building is connected to their hospital. Thinking of our sweet boy the entire time we were there. Of course if anyone asked how we were doing, Jim smiled and said fine.

I was going to hibernate in the building, but Jim hinted that I could stay with him. It is difficult to be in the caretaker role again. Not as much as Robbie, but it could be someday, which scares me. He does have a cancer that you can live with for a long time if it doesn’t become aggressive. You just never know when this could happen. It is called CLL. The greatest side affect from this cancer is extreme fatigue. He is either tired or sleeping most of the time. His symptoms probably started at least a year ago, but we both thought it was due to the stress of Robbie being so sick. His daily chemo drugs so far are keeping everything stable and the swelling on his lymph system went down.

From the Mayo Clinic website:

Chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) is a type of cancer of the blood and bone marrow — the spongy tissue inside bones where blood cells are made.

The term “chronic” in chronic lymphocytic leukemia comes from the fact that it typically progresses more slowly than other types of leukemia. The term “lymphocytic” in chronic lymphocytic leukemia comes from the cells affected by the disease — a group of white blood cells called lymphocytes, which help your body fight infection.

Final Arrangements

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The people at Lenz Monument in Dubuque are going to make Robbie’s grave marker similar to this computer generated picture, except the sloth will only be a black outline. We are hoping they will have it done before we come this summer, but they wouldn’t guarantee. I couldn’t bring myself to order it sooner. Signing the contract today to complete this project is so sad.

We received the TSA approved container for him for when we travel. TSA won’t allow his wooden box to be carried onto the plane. I expect it to take us extra time going through security in a couple weeks. I didn’t want to risk sending him Fed Ex, which is what TSA suggested.

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